Romanticizing Life...

Chapter 1

Her strides were long as she walked past the coffee shop. Her mind was fighting her heart. One knew they were already running late, the other was desperate for a pit stop for a nice, warm, hot chocolate with soy. The soy made it creamy without making it too thick like oat did. She had met her now best friend only months before in the coffee shop, coffee-stained jeans and all. The crisp air walked next to her, pushing her along. It was at the end of Autumn. The leaves dressed in their Sunday best were competing to see who could last the longest. She tucked her fingers into her jacket pockets, hoping the cold wouldn’t seep in while her nose cried out at the favoritism. The sweat congregating down her back disagreed with that ruling. But, only two minutes late, she arrived and opened the large glass door into the building. The elevator played soft tunes that she unknowingly swayed to. 

“Good afternoon, are you checking in?” The lady at the front desk asked.

“I am.” It came out hurriedly, knowing she was now four minutes late.

“Great, you are all set, you can head back.” The lady swiveled in her chair and extended her arm to the hall. It was a polite gesture, but an unnecessary one, seeming as though this was a weekly occurrence. Therapy was something non-negotiable on her list of weekly endeavors. And this week was a week that she needed to talk out how stale her life was feeling. When she entered the room, there was a confusion of a pumpkin pillow on a chair, but Christmas trees lining the desk. She chuckled to herself because it was very relatable.

Chapter 2

She sat waiting, playing with her nails as she looked around the already memorized room. Although this lady had heard all the things that she dared not share publicly, waiting in this office always felt like waiting for the doctor to come in at a doctor's office. 

“So sorry, I am running late.” Her therapist came passionately through the door. 

“And here I thought that was going to be my line.” She teased.

“The holiday season is a busy time.” The therapist set a few things onto the desk with the Christmas trees and walked over to the chair opposite her. “Have you been waiting long?”

“No! I was running late, too. I sat down only a few minutes ago!” She smiled, that anxious feeling rising in her chest that paid a visit every time she sat across from that chair. 

“So, how’s this week been?” Her therapist asked, looking down at her notepad on her lap. 

“Here is the thing, life feels boring. Like I scroll and scroll, Pinterest, Instagram, whatever… and all their lives feel so interesting and mine feels dull.” She hunched her shoulders forward and tipped her head back so she was staring at the ceiling with a dramatic exclamation point. 

“Ok, expound on that.” That was not the helpful sentence that she needed nor wanted. But that was the classic response, so why was she surprised? 

“I wake up and do the same things, then go to bed and wake up and do it all over again.” She said like a scoop of vanilla ice cream. 

Her therapist chuckled under her response. Tucking her words in like a warm blanket. “Ok, do you ever feel pulled to change it up?”

“Well, I mean… yes, but see, I am lazy…” She sheepishly looked at her therapist through a tilted head and a side glance. Hands laced on her lap. 

“I see. If you weren’t lazy, what are things that would make your days more enjoyable?” Her therapist boomeranged her with that question. Is boomeranged a verb? She shrugged off that unnecessary thought.

She cleared her throat, “hm…”

Chapter 3

In her apartment, at her table, with a plain slice of bread and the container of orange juice open before her, she rested her chin on her palm, elbow perched next to the bread. Thoughts whirling about her. She wanted more from her life, but also didn’t want to be one of those “extra” people, yet secretly did. She was a walking contradiction of her own desires. But what was hardest was pushing past herself and doing it anyway. She wanted to, as her therapist put it, romanticize her life.” Do the little things because they made her smile, even if it wasn’t necessary. Dress up and look nice even if she wasn’t going to see anyone that day. Toast the bread and add the butter, even if it took a minute longer. Sure, the $30 glasses came in a set and were convenient, but the fun abstract ones that she saw every time she went to the thrift store made her happy, even if it took a month of different thrift trips. There was a time for her to be practical, and then there was a time for her to go to the coffee shop to work even though she could just as easily work from home. It was a mindset switch, and she needed to install it ASAP. So, she de-crumpled herself from her chair and turned on the cute lamp that was across the room, which made a gold glow melt onto the walls and down to the floor. She placed her bread, that had a bite already punched through it, into the toaster and grabbed a glass. They were little steps to a brighter life. Even if they were minute changes that maybe no one even noticed. She didn’t need to get a new bougie house with a bunch of expensive things or have her dream job, just little things that were mixed into her vanilla to create a fun and exciting flavor. Her toast popped up, she lathered it in butter, and enjoyed it drenched in the warm glow of her lamp. Life already elevated.

Chapter 4

I know my family is going to laugh at me for this post because they already know that I am one of us who lives practically and a little lazily. And I could blame it on a bunch of different things, but the truth is, sometimes it feels as though the effort put in doesn’t always compensate for the outcome. However, does it improve our mood? Does it provide texture to an otherwise flat situation? It’s a mind switch; instead of just going through life, it is going through it with intention. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s simply taking action and living the lives that God gave us to the fullest. And when we switch to taking responsibility for our life, our attitude shifts, and the monsters of jealousy, self-pity for a life that they have but we don’t, and frustration of “why didn’t I?”, takes a back seat in our life. And the more we romanticize our lives, those thoughts, honestly, might even find their way to the trunk.

I’ve been doing a lot of scrolling recently (a problem for a different time) and felt like this was something that others might resonate with. Or it’s just me, and so you read a fun story this week of some personal struggles. But, I am willing to bet that isn’t the case! Anyway, hope you liked it, and I hope that you had a fantastic week and that you have a beautiful weekend! Don’t forget to follow on Instagram, leave a comment letting me know if you liked this, share the Allie-Way with someone, and subscribe! Thanks for reading, Allie-Cats.

• Dru Allie