Switching Gears...

Chapter 1 

The holidays had passed, the decorations had been taken down, and the sun peeked through the gray winter skies. She sat behind the counter of the store she worked in scrolling on her phone and doing a little shopping with no intent of buying, while also texting her friend whom she hadn’t had the time to see since the Christmas craft night. Her eyes wandered the screen scanning the different fabrics and designs as they all grabbed at her through the screen, enticing her to select “add to cart”. After a few minutes of allowing the store to persuade her into a cart that overflowed with things that would never see her closet. She swapped the app for Pinterest in search of outfit inspiration to further her feeling of needing a new wardrobe since she felt like nothing in her closet looked good on her. She received a text from her friend that was in response to one she had sent earlier. She was telling her how her boss (she was a personal assistant to a boss woman) gave her a raise out of the blue, and how she decided to take that as a sign to order a new pair of jeans, that she sent a photo of her in. As she sat behind her counter waiting for customers, who didn’t have shopping anxiety, to bring her company to an otherwise empty store; she adjusted in her seat removing her elbows from the dark wood surface, setting her phone face down. She was elated for her friend! Her friend had a tendency to have life work out for her. She looked cute in everything, she had a great job and a nice boss, she had a picture-perfect apartment, always seemed to have amazing friends around her, and never seemed like she questioned herself. Now, she didn’t need the reality check that her friend's life wasn’t perfect…no, she and her friend talked through when one of them was having a rough time. But, she had a tendency to think “Lucky her, it’s never me.”  As soon as that thought popped into her mind there was a little jingle.

Chapter 2

It caught her off guard as she sat on the little roller chair, hands propped on her hips, and head looking down off to the side with glazed eyes that were deep in a colorful swirl of being elated for her friend and pity party for what she thought was her lack of blessings, an envy that was as thin as chiffon. She zoomed back into reality and swung her head toward the door. 

“Hi, welcome in.” She welcomed the customer with a sweet, soft, closed-mouth smile. He looked over at her and gave a nod, and a tight, but kind smile back. The customer approached the counter of the vintage home decor store. He was tall, and carried a silent question for help on his face. 

“Excuse me?” He leaned over ever so slightly, probably to feel less towering. It was a common theme that she had learned about people who felt “too tall”. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” She grabbed the counter with both hands and pulled her roller chair closer to the computer resting on the dark-brown surface. 

“I’m looking for a gift for my wife…but, I was hoping, maybe, you might have a suggestion. This is one of her favorite shops. I'm just not good at this kind of thing, but it’s her birthday in a few days.”

“Ok, sure… is there something in particular that you might be interested in? Kitchen things, living room decor, or we also have an amazing art selection.” She secretly, both loved and felt overwhelmed when people didn’t know what they wanted and let her have free reign. She loved interior design, but tended to assume that her taste wouldn't be what they were looking for and would simply take it out of obligation. Which sounds crazy she knows, but there was always a little voice that whispered to her that she wasn’t as qualified as her other co-workers would be. She didn’t have a degree in interior design, and did she have any actual experience…debatable. But, she had staged the store many times, and if she said so herself, it looked enticing. 

Chapter 3

“She likes all of those, what is your favorite thing that you have in stalk at the moment?” He wrung his hands while looking around for something to enrapture his attention. She stepped out from behind the counter. The sun shone in the shop, casting a golden glow to reflect through the windows onto some glassware by the front door, causing a rainbow to shatter over a few paintings hanging on the wall. She loved the building the store was in, a warm hug engulfed her during the afternoon when the sun fell into its perfect place. At least she wasn’t in a stuffy office. She had room for creativity and interesting conversations with many different people. She led him to a corner of the store that she would go to when a grumpy customer would step on her mood. It was ordained in all kinds of beautiful kitchen utensils, and art that led you to a place of serenity. There were little jars and candle holders, and off to the side, there were vintage aprons that introduced color and possibilities of home-cooked creations. 

“This is my favorite section of the store.” She turned to look at him. “I am assuming she cooks?” Her head tilted up to meet his eyes.

“She loves cooking and hosting.” He shook his head as he took it in. 

“Perfect! Well, how about something like this?” She held up a beautiful serving dish from the 50s. “My mom had something like this when I was growing up, and now I have it in my kitchen. I use it all the time and my friends are constantly asking me if they can take it home with them, so I would say it is a real crowd-pleaser.” She looked into the dish with the memory swimming at the front of her mind. 

“I think that would be perfect! First try too, I see you're in the right occupation.” He retrieved the item from her outstretched arms. 

“I was only guessing.” Walking back toward her perch, she undermined his complement demeaning his words. 

“Well, she’ll love it.” He said as he paid and she wrapped it up for him.

Chapter 4 

A week later the bell above the store door sang its song. She looked up from the paperwork she was filing. “Hi, welcome.” In walked a gorgeous woman who had a soft but eager expression. 

“Hi, yes, my husband was here a few days ago and was assisted by an employee to buy my birthday gift. It was a 1950s serving dish.” The lady adjusted her purse strap, while her stomach dropped. 

“Oh, yes, that was me. Was there an issue with the item?” She looked for the return in the lady's hands. 

“No! Oh, no no, I just wanted to say that I love it! He told me that this very nice employee with impeccable taste helped him pick it out. He said he was so lost he didn’t even know where to start, and you came in and saved the day!” She chuckled to herself in that adorably in-love- -with-their-spouse, who was being helpless, way. Laughter couldn’t help but escape her as well as the fact that the lady came simply to tell her that. 

“Do you know if there are any other pieces that match that? Also wow, that dress looks amazing on you, that color brings out your eyes! I’m going to need the name of the store you got that from as well!” Dang, this lady was complimenting her and asking for recommendations. A girl that pretty typically isn’t that nice, especially to her. But, something switched in her usual cynical thought that she was just being nice, and just saying that, and not meaning it. She believed it. It caused her to realize that she is more capable and qualified than she lets herself believe. That she could fit into the crowd that she deemed herself not cool enough to fit into. Yeah, maybe she didn’t get a big raise, but she had a job that she enjoyed. She needed to switch gears and realize that the world wasn’t against her, yet showing up for others. But, she only sees it that way because she doesn’t allow herself to see the blessings that are already engulfing her. 

Chapter 5 

Long but worth it! How often do we feel like the world is against us, but everyone else seems to be figuring it out? My jeans never fit me right, but you always seem to find the perfect ones. People always seem to find you attractive, but never me. You're more qualified for this job you’ll get it over me… It’s a bit of a grown-up pity party that we don’t even realize we are experiencing. We can sometimes feel we are without while others simply thrive, but we look over and past the places that we are excelling and basking in. We tell ourselves lies like we aren’t smart, as important, or talented enough, and diminish ourselves before we even have a chance to prove those thoughts wrong. It is a hard way to live until we switch our mindsets, and allow ourselves to believe in ourselves, and find the treasures of our environments. Sometimes not wanting to feel like we are being selfish can lead to a road of disbelief in ourselves. But, we can find joy and pride in who we are without being prideful.

I think about this topic a lot, and have to remind myself of this often. I hope this was able to encourage one of you! I hope you had an amazing holiday season! Enjoy the weekend and don’t forget to follow on Instagram, share The Allie-Way with someone, subscribe, and let me know what your opinion is on this topic in the comments! Thanks for reading Allie-cats!

• Dru Allie